In the wake of John’s comments in the press conference he’d been all over the newspapers and the talk of the town. There was always interest in a new manager but this was something else, the armchair pundits couldn’t decide whether John was simply optimistic or somewhat delusional. All in all they were going to have to wait for the first game of the season before they could start to draw any conclusions.
Not that John was the kind to buy into speculation or what people said about him. He was on his way to his first training session with the team. He cruised in his car through the Swindon countryside to the secluded training ground. Sitting in the passenger seat was John’s assistant manager Dave Mustaine; he was sorting the player profiles.
The first thing John had asked his assistant to do was to prepare a comprehensive report and profile on each member of the team. John had looked through them in reasonable depth; the team certainly had its weaknesses but if the reports were anything to go by the team had a number of strengths. Of course it was impossible to derive any conclusions having not seen the team play. The team had a pre-arranged friendly next week against Chorzów. It would be a good opportunity to assess the team.
John pulled into a parking space outside the training facilities. They were quite good for a team of Swindon’s calibre. There were naturally changing rooms but also an indoor football court and a gym room. As John passed through the building he looked around him at the modest trophy cabinet. He emerged on a balcony on the far side of the building, looking down over the training pitch where the players were already there messing about passing the balls and testing the keeper with a few shots.
John decided to take a moment to watch the players and ask a few questions of Dave.
“Could you pass a few of those profiles Dave?”
Dave obliged and picked out a few of the profiles. John flicked through them, trying to match them to their on-field correspondents. The first player who caught John’s eye was a tall bald man with a thick moustache; he was nonchalantly strolling around the pitch returning any passes which came to him. As John was about to look away, this man received a pass into his feet at the edge of the box, teed it up and fired it hard and low into bottom corner leaving the keeper no chance. John looked into a profile. So this was the infamous “bald John Green”, the profile didn’t skimp on praise ‘athletic player, hardworking, never afraid to get back and help the midfield, finishes ten times out of ten’. Praise indeed.
John straightened his coat and took the stairs which led down from the balcony to the pitch. He rooted in his pocket for his whistle. He didn’t need to blow it though because before he had a chance bald John Green turned and shouted “Everyone in!” Everyone came in, no exceptions. John gave a nod of approval to bald John Green. The squad of roughly twenty gathered around John in a semicircle. “Thank you, as you all know I’m John Green, I’m going to be manager, but enough with the clichéd pleasantries. Lads, the losing ends here, no more with losing three, four to nil, football is game of hard work and determination, and we can show that we can mix it with the big boys. Anyone who doesn’t believe we can win this league should leave now.” No one left. A few shuffled on their feet. A few nodded in agreement. John looked around at his players. He saw the coaches were making their way onto the pitch. He spoke again. “Everyone will get their chance to prove themselves on this team. I don’t want us to continue playing this defensive boring football we’ve been playing all year. I believe we have the players to play an attractive attacking style. This afternoon we going to have a tactical meeting but now give me five laps of the pitch.”
The team all lined up behind bald John Green and started into their laps. John wandered around the centre circle and looked through his player reports. Chorzów next week. As the tubby goalkeeper fell over his own feet and tumbled to the ground, John couldn’t help but wonder if he was setting his sights too high.
"The tubby goalkeeper fell over his own feet and tumbled to the ground " that's hilarious. This is pretty good stuff, keep writing!
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